wishing i was out at clubs instead of cramming project work and getting the most of it done in mere few hours.

wishing BF would love sushi or food as much as i do so i dont have to constantly suppress my cravings to wait for the right moment and company without obligations.

wishing i didnt have to balance and priortise through school, work and fun.

wishing the world would remember me even as im having fun. seemingly only strict, boring, and routined achievers seem to be historised.

wishing everything would just fall into place and turn out fine without having to do anything.

wishing i could just do something differently without having to affect your PR and moods.

wishing everything done wont be impolitely jugdged and misunderstood.

but then you realise that all these are just plainly SELFISH.
how does one live out the selfish desires and not have the undesired ripple effect to everyone or thing around you?
where you wont lose your friends in the process, or have bad reviews.

and yet you cant please the whole world.
but what if it pleases no one too? not a single being.


can an extrovert personality be prisoned in an introvert's life?
like theres so much energy just about to burst out.
sense of relief
of freedom
of hope
of unspoken forgiveness

and yet crushed with loss.


im actually looking forward to the congress on Monday.
when i can finally get out of the routine and have chitchats with ppl i have never met.
plus buffet lunch!
what a punch.
food and people. <3s
plus half day at work. double <3s


and my spoilt phone! freak NOKIA on/off button. this is not my first encounter with the button issue.
it can go STRAIGHT IN if pushed too much.
shouldnt Nokia upgrade to a different kind of on/off mechanism?

and its N95! what a freaking waste.
sending it for repairs means i may lose all the data. such trouble.

and i want the compact Vaio laptop!
but its like some 3k.
too bad BF doesnt double as a sugardaddy.